one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
