Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
