Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if only i could text you this smell
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
