You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize