I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
