I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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