Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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