People in love make me want to vomit
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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