Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
