Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
