omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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