i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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