I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
