This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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