Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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