My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
