I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
porn star boner night. come get it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
