doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
