i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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