At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize