I think i peed on brittanys purse
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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