i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
