and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
