absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
