He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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