Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
