Already got asked if we're dating
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
