I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Your penis caused this!
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