Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
