Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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