i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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