About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
