I'm really into asian looking animals
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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