Got a toothbrush?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
