i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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