i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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