I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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