If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
