I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
