You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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