i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
