I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
