Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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