The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have aggressive nipples.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP