I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dicks are not precious.