I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots