Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral