this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?