Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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