Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
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I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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