i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
