I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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