i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
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It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
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Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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