i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You've changed since you got that strap on
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