Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
