i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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