She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
