I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
