i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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