just come out here and I will go home with you...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
