i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
