i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
