normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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