i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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