if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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