You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
