if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
